|
* Names and identifying details have been changed to protect privacy. The stories are real.
Opening Story
When People Talk Past Each Other, Someone's Work Gets Redone
|
I was coaching a manager I'll call Tola. She moved to Minneapolis from Nigeria three years ago and has built a solid reputation in her company. Detail-oriented, thoughtful, someone who takes her work seriously. But something was eating at her: her team kept misunderstanding what she needed, and the frustration was starting to show.
|
|
The pattern was always the same. Tola would say, "I need this by Friday." Then a day before the deadline, someone would deliver something completely different from what she expected. She'd feel disappointed. Annoyed. Like nobody was really listening. She'd think, "How did they get it so wrong?" And there was something else underneath: a question she didn't voice out loud. "Is it because I'm new here? Because I'm not from here? Are they not taking me seriously?" Her team would feel defensive. Like they'd tried their best and still missed the mark.
|
This happened enough times that Tola started questioning whether her team had the capability to do the work. And her team started questioning whether she actually knew what she wanted. Both were losing confidence in each other. She'd worked too hard to get here. She wasn't going to let miscommunication be the thing that held her back.
When she brought this to our coaching session, I could hear the frustration in her voice. So I asked her: "When you say 'by Friday,' what exactly do you mean? Final version, polished and ready to send? Or a working draft you can review and iterate on?" She paused. Then she said, "Oh. I think we've never actually clarified that." That's when I introduced her to sorting and labeling.
The next week, she came back and told me she'd used it in a kickoff meeting. She asked her team to sort out what "streamlined" meant. Faster? Cheaper? Fewer people? Suddenly everyone was on the same page. She told me: "It's like they finally understand what I'm asking. And they know I understand them. I feel like I can actually lead now."
This Week's Scenario
The "That Means Different Things to Us" Moment
|
Your boss says, "I need this project streamlined." You think she means faster. She means cheaper. Neither of you realizes you're talking about different things until two weeks of work go in the wrong direction. Now you're back at square one, frustrated, and looking like you didn't understand the assignment.
|
|
|
Tool of the Week
Sorting & Labeling
Breaking down a conversation into its parts so everyone knows what you're actually talking about.
Sorting means identifying the different elements of a conversation. Timeline. Budget. Quality. Scope. Audience. Dependencies. These are the things that matter.
Labeling means naming each part out loud so everyone is clear. "When I say streamlined, I mean: faster turnaround time, same quality, slightly smaller team. Does that match what you mean?"
That conversation takes 60 seconds. It prevents two weeks of work in the wrong direction. And it's the difference between being seen as someone who doesn't listen and being seen as someone who makes sure everyone is on the same page.
|
|
Steal These Scripts
For Clarifying Without Overthinking It
|
"Just to clarify: are we talking about timeline, budget, or scope?"
Use for: kickoff meetings, project briefs, stakeholder calls
|
|
"Let me label what I'm hearing: You're concerned about X. I'm focused on Y. Is that right?"
Use for: when you sense misalignment, team confusion, unclear deliverables
|
|
Notice the pattern: you're not accusing anyone of being unclear. You're making sure you're both speaking the same language.
|
🧪 Micro-Assignment
In your next meeting, when someone uses a vague word (timeline, efficient, better, streamlined), pause and ask for clarity. "When you say that, do you mean this or this?" Don't apologize for the question. Just ask it. Notice what you learn.
The discomfort you feel asking is not a sign you're doing something wrong. It's a sign you're building a new habit.
|
|
🪟
Reflection Question
"When have I assumed I understood someone and later realized I was completely wrong? What did that cost me?"
|
|
✎️
|
The Deeper Cut
Here's what I see happen with immigrant professionals when miscommunication hits: your accent gets blamed. Your communication style gets blamed. Your competence gets questioned. But the miscommunication isn't actually about any of that. It's just that two people meant different things. The problem is, you're already hyperaware of being different. So when something goes wrong, you internalize it differently than someone else would. You don't think "oh, we just didn't clarify that." You think "did they not understand me because of my accent? Because I'm new here? Because I'm not from here?" You start second-guessing yourself. You redo work to prove it was your team's fault, not your communication. Sorting and labeling cuts through all of that. It makes miscommunication a process problem, not a people problem. It says: we both mean well, we just need to be explicit about what we're talking about. And when you do that, two things shift. First, your team stops making assumptions about your competence based on unclear communication. Second, you stop internalizing every mistake as evidence that you don't belong. For immigrant professionals especially: clarity is your competitive advantage, not your weakness.
|
|
|
Your Turn
Reply and tell me: When have you caught a miscommunication before it became a problem? Or when did you miss one and have to fix it later?
|
|
Topics in This Issue
Communication Skills · Team Dynamics · Workplace Clarity · Project Management · Active Listening · Professional Development · Leadership Communication · Immigrant Professionals · Cross-Cultural Communication · Workplace Miscommunication · Team Alignment · Expectation Setting
Keywords
sorting and labeling framework, workplace communication strategies, preventing miscommunication at work, clarifying conversations, team alignment techniques, professional development for immigrants, leadership communication tools, clear expectations at work, immigrant professional development, managing diverse teams, cross-functional collaboration, communication frameworks for leaders
Common Questions Answered
How do I prevent miscommunication at work? · What is the sorting and labeling framework? · How can I clarify expectations with my team? · Why do teams talk past each other? · How do immigrant professionals handle communication challenges? · What tools help with team alignment? · How do I make sure everyone understands what I'm asking for? · How can I improve workplace communication?
|
|
|
From Doer to Leader
A weekly coaching newsletter for immigrant professionals stepping into leadership.
Every Tuesday, free, no fluff.
[beehiiv footer: Unsubscribe | View in browser | Share]
|
|
|
